skrapnel

Moving to Austin hasn’t been as easy as I expected.  I thought the transition would be less bumpy when going back to a place where I had lots of friends from college.  I was wrong.

Talking to one of my good friends in SF really helped put things into perspective:

He’s right: Building friendships takes time.  Even getting reacquainted to old friends takes time.  If I’m worrying about things not “falling into place,” then I’m wasting energy that could be poured into other things, like the book, the new site or my own health.

Thanks, Jason!

Sometimes when I sit down to write, I have a hard time concentrating.   I may check Facebook and Google News.  My mind may start wandering to the economy, new business, the dishes–anything to keep me from writing.  If I’m not writing, then I get depressed and, well, I can’t write anymore.

Over the last few years, I’ve started to realize that all these habits are actually effects of fear.  It’s kind of like a fight or flight mechanism.  My mind is so scared of what MIGHT happen–what if people don’t like what I write, what if I fail, etc–that it makes up these distractions to sort of ease the suffering that it thinks might happen.  In effect, what ends up happening is that I defeat myself.

I’ve also noticed that I feel like I’m missing out on something or giving up “Chris time” by FORCING myself to do some arduous task.  Whether it’s hanging out with my friends, going to the park, or just chilling, I feel like I’m rebelling against my own authority.

In both cases, what I have to remind myself is that writing and art make me happy.  I’ve purposefully changed my life so that I can spend more time working on these things in hopes that ultimately I’ll be able to support myself completely off my art.  With that in mind, I have the following three questions posted above my writing desk:

• What can I do right now to get closer to reaching my goals?
• What can I do right now to improve my state of mind?
• What can I do right now to improve my quality of life?

Not all of these have to do with writing.  Sometimes I’m legitimately distracted by things like paying bills, doing laundry or eating.  These questions force me into thinking about what’s bothering me by asking if I can do something in that moment to help me focus so that I can get back to work. It helps.

What do you do to fight procrastination?

Was looking up pictures of Jasmine flowers on Google and found this poem.

Do Not Give Up!

Do not give up!

He who gives up

Never reaches the Satisfaction-Shore.

Who knows?

Each attempt of yours may bring you

Many exceptionally heart-enlightening

Heaven-prosperities.

– Sri Chinmoy.

via Helpful Meditation Links — Sri Chinmoy Centre.

The current novel is really dark.  At first I was intimidated by what people would think about me.  I didn’t want to be judged, but at the same time, I needed to explore that side of myself.  As with all of my art, I felt like I had to get it out.

Dreamers, artists, innovators often need to be reminded that we should never give up on our dreams.  We should never be intimidated by our struggles or what others might say or think.  By being true to our vision, we are finding ourselves and our souls.

Every story and experience adds another dab of paint to the human picture.

Here’s my horoscope from Free Will Astrology this week.  I’m down to the final push to finish the book, so this hits it spot on.  This novel is just one part. I also need to work on the other blogs and continue learning how to use Final Cut.

According to expert gerontologists, Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards (a Sagittarius) should have passed on to the next world a decade ago. The man has abused his body so thoroughly, his continued survival is a mystery. You’re currently in an excellent position to achieve equally stupendous feats of persistence yourself, Sagittarius. More than ever before, you have a dogged capacity to keep pushing — even in areas where you’ve been flighty or sketchy in the past. I’d say this is an excellent time to deepen your commitment to your dreams in very practical ways.

via Free Will Astrology : Sagittarius Horoscope.

Here are Tweets stating my New Year’s Resolutions for 2009. I’m hoping to rock them!