skrapnel » Memories

Box of memories.

Chris Apollo Lynn — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:36:41 +0000

Several months ago, my mom brought down a box of stuff that I’d left at the house about 10 years ago. It includes stuff from Junior High, High School and College. When she brought it down, I barely dipped my toe into it; I couldn’t really handle all the emotions it might release.

I’ve always been kind of obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. In a box somewhere, I have some large reproductions of John Tenniel‘s illustrations from the 1st edition (1865) of Lewis Carroll’s classic novel. Wasn’t sure if it was the box that mom dropped off, so I started digging through it.

I eventually want to photographically chronicle some of this stuff, but for now I’m just going to list a few things I’ve found.

A t-shirt I painted when I was 13. It’s so tiny–a boy’s medium. I remember it being way oversized. It has a yin-yang on the back.
Contact sheets of the first modeling pics I took when I was 19. A famous photographer took them. They are in black and white. At the time, I didn’t understand why anyone would want to take my picture. Typical teenager, I didn’t think I was attractive. I was really happy and care-free, although in some pictures I’m def self aware. I still look basically the same except now my face is thinner and my body is not quite as cut LOL
My photo scrap book from Senior Year in HS and the first 2 years of college. So young!
8th grade year book (1991). Shoved inside were 3 sets of matted photos from our district winning cross country and track teams. Someone’s parent took a lot of time to take the photos of us out on the track or on the cross country course. They also matted the pictures. Unlike the actual yearbook pics, these pictures are candid and feel more like real memories. I look at the pics and I can feel the polyester shorts, the cold wind and my tight lungs. Funny: I was so intimidated by most of the other guys on the team. Looking at them now, I realize how silly that was. I look sad and very unsure of myself. I started crying looking at these pics and thinking about how much I was going through at the time. Shocks me that that little boy was me.
One of my sketchbooks from when I was 20. I was going through a cubistic phase.
Le Journal de Mickey – a French comic book from 1988 in which Mickey and crew go to the Olympics!
An autograph from 1990 from Jim Wright, former speaker of the US House of Representatives. When I was a kid, I loved him because he was from Fort Worth, went to my mom’s High School and went to UT.

Yeah, so that’s just a small sampling. My mom is going to bring another box down soon. Hoping it has those Alice in Wonderland prints. If it does, that will also include all my wall decorations!!

Perception and Experience

Chris Apollo Lynn — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:11:24 +0000

In the novel, I wanted to look at the problems that occur when one’s individual perceptions don’t sync up with those of the outside collective. The next book is going to be a study of how our impressions of people are shaped by the opinions of the group. In preparing for both books, I’ve been reading psychology and philosophy books that discuss individual and collective perceptions. So far, the best has been a Buddhist psychology book by Thich Naht Hahn called “Understanding Our Mind”.

Our perception of the world is based on our past experiences and the collective perceptions we share with society, our family and our friends. When we add more personal experiences to our lives, we can calibrate our perceptions against those we have learned from others.

When I play back the moments in my life that define the perceptions of the moment I’m in, it’s always like a movie: The action takes place in the present, even though I’m aware it is actually in the past. I am all the experiences leading to this moment, but the person from 5, 10 or 20 years ago is not the same. I’ve changed.

In Austin, I’ve been constantly aware of the perceptions and experiences I had in college. It’s been a process of rediscovery and reconciliation. It offers the chance to look at my past ideas, compare them with my current ideas, and then decide which make sense. It’s kinda like recalibration of my perceptions–rebuilding myself based on who I was then with the experiences I’ve had up to now. It’s an interesting process that is difficult at times. Do people who’ve lived in one place all their lives ever experience this?

Kubrick’s Use of Mickey Mouse Song in ‘Full Metal Jacket’ is Genius!

Chris Apollo Lynn — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:30:08 +0000

[SPOILER ALERT: If you ever plan on watching "Full Metal Jacket," don't read this. You probably shouldn't watch the embedded video, either.]

Just watched Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” for the first time as an adult.

“What?” you say. “Aren’t you the biggest Kubrick fan this side of the Mississippi?”

Apparently not. I mean, I own all the Kubrick films and know them all by heart–except “Full Metal Jacket.”

When I was a kid, I remember coming into the living room while my parents were watching it. It felt so heavy–not in intelectual material, but in mood. This time around, however, I saw the beautiful cinematography and dark, fun house mirror wit that I love in all his movies. I shouldn’t be that surprised; I hated “A Clockwork Orange” when I first saw it at 16. Today, it’s probably my favorite movie of all time.

Kubrick’s genius really shines in the final scene:

By choosing to have the troops sing the Mickey Mouse Club theme song as they march silhouetted by flaming destruction, Kubrick ties three themes together:

The journey from boy to man
- Typical of most war movies, we see the main character grow from fresh faced recruit to hardened soldier. This song, however, is effing intense. These guys probably sang this song along with the TV as kids. Now they are singing it together as a shared nostalgia that not only binds them, but also serves to show the contrast between childhood and adulthood; innocent naivety and killed-a-man experienced.
- Or maybe, it shows that these guys are still boys having to live as men. Hmmmm….
Camaraderie and the solidification of a group
- They’re singing about being members of a club, holding banners high, working in harmony and the shared nostalgia/experience mentioned above. The inviting lyrics could also be mistaken for recruiting.
Notion of the American ideal of bringing freedom, even if through force, to the rest of the world
- Mickey Mouse is a symbol for America.
- The lyrics are upbeat, inviting people around the world to join a club. The soldiers singing this as they march across a conquered land in order to eradicate communism and forcibly bring freedom make those lyrics ironic.

When I was little, my grandfather would play an old Mickey Mouse Club record. I remember marching around, gleefully raising my mom’s old baton up and down while singing the theme song with joy. There isn’t that same vigor in the voices of these soldiers. They have to make themselves joyful. By singing this particular song, they are able to grasp on to any last scrap of humanity or any distant memory of innocence. Brilliant.

Anyway, just same late night wanderings. What do you think?