When times are tough, do you check your personal instruction manual?
Since my grandmother’s death last month, I’ve been slipping in and out of sadness. Last week was really rough. And although I know she is still with me, it sent me a jolt.
Jolts aren’t always bad things–and I’m learning a lot. But during this processing time, I need some guidance to help me do the things that are best to keep me at a day-to-day functional level. When times are tough, I turn to my personal instruction manual.
I wrote the first draft of my instruction manual in Berlin. Leaving the city I love to help my brother and deal with my own depression after I’d had everything stolen, I decided to make a list of accomplishments in Berlin, including things I’d learned about myself during while there.
The list ended up being 5 hand-written pages of insight. And instead of feeling like my time there had been full of failure, I felt like I’d actually accomplished something. I’d also discovered the basic needs to keep me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually happy.
A lot has changed in the 6 years since I drafted that list–but many of the elements still hold true. I’ll spare you the 5 pages and will instead share my most recent revision. Let’s call this the Reader’s Digest version of what makes me tick.
My Personal Instruction Manual
- Maintain a regular schedule.
- One hour before bed, switch off the computer and put on some calming music. This is my time.
- During that hour, straighten up the house: Put dirty clothes away, clean or rinse dirty dishes, etc.
- Drink a glass of water during that hour.
- After those tasks, start my series of yoga stretches, thinking about nothing but the movements, really reeling my body and become one with body and mind. Feel the spirit shine.
- Brush teeth, wash face, smile.
- Be thankful you survived another day.
- Once in bed, meditate on a glowing white light.
- Sleep 7 hours minimum.
- Wake up thankful: “Good morning, world. Thank you for letting me survive another night.”
- Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner (when hungry).
- Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
- Your best at morning exercise–but afternoon or evening exercise is good, too.
- Do intensive cardio like interval training or cycling when you are feeling anxious, stressed or panicky.
- Eat a good mix of food. My body is best suited for: more veggies; little to no sugar; no wheat; nice amount of healthy oils; relatively low carbs and an even amount of protein.
- Tell people thank you when it’s deserved.
- Tell people why what they are doing is good–and how it made you feel.
- Talk to good friends frequently.
- Spend time with people who make you feel good, accentuate your positive qualities and stimulate you.
- Disregard the negative people–laugh off their silliness.
- Always remember to ask: What can I do right now to improve my state of mind? What can I do right now to better my standard of living?
- Remember: Being alive is a beautiful gift.
- And don’t forget to say hello to the trees.
Yeah, so that’s my list. Some of the things are particular to my health issues (bad heart, celiac’s disease). Because I tend to slip into bad habits when I’m depressed, a lot of the items try to rewire those habits through behavioral reprogramming. Sometimes starting a few of these, it moves me in the right direction.
Chris,
Thank you for sharing your insights and personal instructions. I wish I had been as wise at your age.
I’m so sorry about the pain of your grandmother’s passing. My surviving grandmother is very dear to me, and probably the greatest most influence on my spiritual outlook and the most memorable source of unconditional love I can remember. I hate to think of saying goodbye to her. To my unexpected delight, my other grandmother has became a loving, felt, but unseen presence in my life many years after her death. I hope you find a new way to feel close to your grandmother again.
As for your questions, I don’t focus on my accomplishments or strengths as often as I could, although deep down, I do know the truth of who I Am, and tap into that pretty often. Yours is a good reminder, though.
When times are tough (and they were challenging for much of 2010), I mostly rely on particular tools of consciousness that help me restructure the beliefs that form my past, present and future experience of life. There are a couple of daily practices involved with those, and sometimes I get support from friends who practice the same tools. This pretty much helps me see things from a higher, wiser perspective, and recognize my role and choice in creating what’s happening. The shift in perspective and responsibility is almost unbelievable, sometimes.
I also have to remind myself to take good care of me, including rest, meditation, socializing, play, and time alone, connecting to nature.
Admittedly I am bad at following self-care routines or instructions, even those I’ve set for myself, but I have found the habits that really work and express what I care about most are the ones that stick. I also have a lot that are so ingrained, I’m not even sure I would recognize them to be in the instruction manual. I am curious what my manual would look like if I wrote it out, though. Thank you stimulating these thoughts.
Beverly
January 25, 2011 at 12:30 AM