skrapnel

At Republic of Austin, I meet so many great artists, musicians and business owners, but not all the footage makes the final cut.  I like to post some of the out takes on here so that readers can see some of the raw footage.

This video [Click here to see the final post and video about First Thursday on Republic of Austin] features Erin and Jacob Boone, newlyweds and owners of my favorite food trailer on South Congress, Mambo Berry.  Jasmine and I have also dubbed them one of the hottest couples in Austin.  Their both super sweet and smart, too.  They also both make some kick-a frozen yogurt.

In the video, Erin and Jacob explain why their Frozen Yogurt is different than the other shops around the city.  Since they use local yogurt and add probiotics, it’snot only healthier, but it’s better for the environment and our local economy. Oh, and it tastes like yogurt, not ice cream!

Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend in Berlin describing my reaction to Arthur Russel’s “This is how we walk on the moon.”  It’s a little more lucid than my previous post on the song.

Heard this song a few nights ago and started crying.  It’s about taking small steps until you finally get to the moon.  The instruments (a cello, some horns), his voice and the lyrics are so powerful.  By the time the song was over, I was sobbing.

When I got home, I looked him up.  Found out the song is from the 80s. He wrote it after he discovered he was HIV positive.  You know I’m a big softie, so of course I started crying again.

There is something sad yet inspirational about the song.  It’s haunting.  I downloaded more music from his discography and it’s set me on this creative, insomniac spin.

It also made me realize that true art–that is, art that is an authentic and real expression of the human condition–can affect, influence and inspire people.  It’s a reminder that you don’t have to follow the rules to have an impact; no matter how avant garde or unknown you are, if you are real, you’ll always connect with someone.

And here’s the song, again:

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been doing some Buddhist meditation exercises to penetrate deeper into my subconscious and discover the source of things interfering with my happiness, health and personal growth.  I’ll save a description of the process for another post, but it’s kind of like reverse engineering unhealthy thought patterns and self-destructive habits.   In this post, I just want to briefly touch on the healing process and also share tonight’s breakthrough.

Fears and complexes can lead to problems like difficulties in relationships (with family, friends or partners); an inability to allow ourselves to achieve or feel success; and even manifest into some health problems.  Our quick-fix society thinks we can take a pill to solve everything, but medicine alone can’t cure the source of the suffering.  For that, I feel that psychoanalysis, meditation, etc., are the only real ways to grow into healthy human beings.

"Reconciliation" by Josefina de Vasconcellos at Coventary Cathedral

Part of the process, for me, is writing. Words are powerful: They change our perceptions and therefore also modify our thinking and habits.  By writing, we can get our thoughts out, manifest them into the world, and settle our minds.

Tonight I couldn’t sleep well.  Instead of the usual drift-into-sleep meditation I normally do in this situation, I ended up continuing deep-meditation exercises I’d been working on earlier in the day.  After I’d gotten into a certain state, I started writing out and acknowledging some of my fear-based actions.  Then I followed the threads of those fears backwards until I’d discovered their source.

One part of the breakthrough involved my relationship with my mother.  The message, below, was typed out in a text message on my cell phone.  It was spontaneous and somewhat subconscious, and the emotional release was so strong that I was crying while writing it.  Thanks to the new copy/paste feature on the iPhone, I’m able to share it with you guys as is.

Mom: I love u so much. I acknowledge that in the past your actions hurt me. I also acknowlede that u r human, and like the rest of us, aren’t perfect. With all my heart, I forgive you and allow you to be imperfect. I allow anything that happened in the past to happen. By so doing, I let go of any pain and suffering it has caused me. I do this to heal myself and allow you to heal. I love u so much, mom. Thank you for bringing me into this world. Love, chris.

I’m so thankful for this epiphany.  I hope it really does help us both heal. I KNOW it will help us both heal.

Will I be able to write the same sort of message to the person whose abuse has affected me the most?  He has blocked it from his memory.  Maybe doing the exercise without contacting him is sufficient to start my side of the healing process.  I know the Lord will help me find the answer.

It’s the Fourth of July, Independence Day in America.  On this date 233 years ago, our forefathers declared to the world their intent to fight for a new form of government, one instituted by its citizens to secure equality and liberty for all.

Before you get caught up in the blind patriotism of red, white and booze, take a second and reflect on two sentences from the Declaration of Independence [Read the full text here]:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

Over the last 6 months, our government has denied equal rights to gays, instituted measures to spy on its own citizens, decided to hold suspects at Guantanamo indefinitely, and withheld photos that reveal evidence of torture.

Our country was founded on the idea that ALL men are created equal, not just white heterosexual men.  It also says the government gets its powers from the CONSENT of the governed: you and me, not big corporations or lobbyists.

We can’t become complacent. We can’t sit idly by as our freedoms slowly disappear. We can’t allow inequality for any member of society.  We also can’t expect someone to save us.

No matter how much you may love a politician, don’t just listen to words, watch their actions. Stay independent this Independence Day.

Heard this song last night by Arthur Russell (wikipedia) and it completely moved me to tears.  The music, the lyrics and his voice are all so understated and delicate, while at the same time optimistically powerful.  By the end of the song, I was sobbing.

When we first start reaching for our dreams, they can seem so far away.  But each step brings you closer and closer.  That’s how you do it: little step after little step until you jump over.

Listen to the song and follow the lyrics (they aren’t accurate, but they’ll give you a good idea).  Hopefully it moves you the same way it moved me.

You can find his full discography on Amazon here .

[UPDATE: I wrote a better description of my reaction here.]

Lyrics to “This is How We Walk on the Moon” by Arthur Russel

Arthur Russell with Cello

Each step is moving, it’s moving me up
moving, it’s moving me up
Every step is moving me up
moving me up, moving, moving me up
Every step is
moving me up
One tiny, tiny,
tiny move
It’s all I need
And I jump over
Every step is moving me up

This is how we walk on the moon

This is how we walk on the moon
Every step is moving me up
I’m so far away
One moment there
Moving me up
Every step is moving me up
One moment there
One tiny, tiny move
It’s all I need and I jump over